Squatter's Rights...and Wrongs

I give, and I give, and I give...but its never enough. Well here it is...the famous Turkish toilet some of you keep asking me about. Now don't go getting all sophisticated and high brow about this (I know some of you are flaring your nostrils right now in repugnance). I have seen bathrooms in the States that are much worse than anything we have run into here (Try the "comfort station" at the I-5 rest stop just north of Kettleman City for starters). Some of you will tell me that this post is beneath me: Yes, it really is.
Turkish Toilet











This is an old public toilet on an old public ferry. This is as bad as we have seen it here, and this one is still very suitable. While the posture needed to acquire a successful transfer takes practice...the upkeep and plumbing are very simple. There is no toilet paper or seat covers, and you never have to worry about "running", clogged or leaking toilets. All final undocking machinations are accomplished using the little plastic garden water jug. At the end of a busy day all it needs is a good hosing down.
Now for the details (this would be a good point for my aunts to stop reading):

You must be flexible in the knees to attain the proper alignment. Make sure that your clothing is not hanging down, touching the floor or (this is really, really important) not in the line of sight between you and the bowl. Do not lean against the wall or support yourself with your hands (your going to need both of them soon)...just place your feet on the treads with your back to the wall, bend at the knees (all the way down) without touching the bowl, and lean forward a bit.
To complete the process you use your Right Hand (this is an important key to remember) to pour water from the jug, onto your Left Hand, which then is used to "freshen up" in place of toilet paper.
You then pour some more water onto the Left Hand to "freshen it up". The real important part of the process? Do not transfer the water jug to the Left Hand at any time. If you do it gets really untidy and no one will come to help you.
Then, as a courtesy, you refill the little plastic jug from another bottle of water in the corner, or in some cases a little water tap on the wall. You are then clear to return to your table and continue your meal.
You will view your Left Hand differently after this. That is why it is rude to shake hands or handle food with the Left Hand in Asia. In fact you will notice people placing their Left Hand behind their back to keep it out of sight while greeting or meeting someone. It also causes you to notice who's Left Hand is returning to the chip bag and your own fingernail hygiene.